Newsletter

Every week I get a newsletter updating me on my growing belly (she's the size of a pack of Oreos!). This morning I opened it, and it announced that my baby was now 39 weeks old. This is wrong...my baby is only 23 weeks old?! So I read a little ways down, it talked about playing peek-a-boo, and laughing together...this newsletter was one that I did not delete for some reason and is referring to the baby I would have had. My baby would have been 39 weeks old. How different my life would be if my hearts one true desire had been granted. Time heals wounds, this little newsletter was like a little shove down the healing hill but it was no means a giant push like it would have been this time last year! I believe there are some wounds that don't heal completely. The are always in the background waiting to be called to center stage.

I love the child that is growing inside me. She is my constant companion, my nutritionist, my personal stylist (as my Gianni Bini's have turned into Dr. Scholl's) she's the reason for everything! My parents are in limbo trying to decide whether they should fill in their pool or not. A deciding factor was a green and white striped bikini with watermelons on the hinny! Once that purchase was discussed the idea of a fence was put on the drawing table. No decision has been reached to date. My husband is selling his truck (although this is no real surprise as he's owned 10 trucks in the 5 years we've been married!) I can almost sit on my hair because I'm scared to go to the salon because of the fumes!

A BABY CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!!

Last month I read a fabulous book called "The Forgotten Garden" by Kate Morton. In the book each of the characters have each lost a child in some way (a "regular" person may not have picked up this information or deemed it as relevant) One character loses her child to an accident, one is infertile, one gives her child away through adoption, and one decides to have an abortion. All that back ground stuff is just shoved in there but it helps define the characters. The story is not about these women's loses but a mystery of an abandoned child. To me, this book was about how life's tragedies shapes us as people.

Its such as big part of you, that sometimes hurt is like a ghost haunting you. But thanks to the Holy Ghost its not something that has to define, overtake, overwhelm, consume, etc. etc.

Life is good...and short and full of ghosts, but it's worth living!

Because He lives I can face tomorrow.